2 Zoom

February 2023

Is he really who he says he is?

On the phone, he didn’t sound Nigerian. In the online dating world, this is considered a small win. Now, if his actual face matches the 45‑year‑old in the profile, ladies, we may have discovered a rare creature: a Real Man on a dating app. Allegedly.

The best way to tell would be an actual meeting. But I’m back in Omaha, and he’s at home in Annapolis. His profile said Atlanta, but apparently, there’s lore behind that. Ryan has been taking care of a friend, Robert, who is terminally ill with brain cancer. Heavy stuff. And yet, somehow, this man is still managing to maintain a dating profile, answer messages, and schedule Zoom calls. Multitasking level: Expert Mode.

This may sound like a stressful time. But that doesn’t keep Ryan from our 8am Zoom. That’s 7am local for me, but I’m an early bird — the kind who wakes up before the alarm and judges everyone who doesn’t. I’m dressed for remote work (well, at least from the top), and I’m looking forward to solving today’s puzzle – Does real‑life Ryan look like profile Ryan?

Until the Zoom loads, my mind is left to wonder, “is he hot or not?”

It’s a match.

He’s calling from his home office in Annapolis — white bookcase in the background, and a view of the water out his window. He tells me that’s Fishing Creek, as if I’m supposed to nod knowingly, like “Ah, yes, the famous Fishing Creek of the Eastern Seaboard.” In Nebraska, we have fishin’ creeks too, but ours come with fewer sailboats and more beer coolers.

And the man has the audacity — the sheer confidence — to casually lean back in his chair like someone who knows his pull is firm, and he has one on the hook.

He talks about his friend Robert with a softness that doesn’t feel performative. He talks about Annapolis with the enthusiasm of someone who works on the Tourism Board.

And I’m sitting there thinking:

Is this… competence?

Is this… emotional intelligence?

Is this… a man who owns more than one book?

The bar is low, but still — he’s clearing it with room to spare.

By the time the call ends, I’m not just intrigued. I’m invested – the bookcase in the background, the Fishing Creek geography lesson, and the tender care shown to a dying friend. Maybe he really is who he says he is. When do I get to find out?